Pejman Yousefzadeh

To: National Review Online

From: Pejman Yousefzadeh

RE: Your Advertising Deal with Newsmax

Comrades!

While I remain fraternally yours in the effort to stand athwart history and yell “stop!”—or at least say “we can see you in just a few minutes. Meanwhile, would you care to take a seat in our waiting room, perhaps amuse yourself with a magazine or several?”—I write this post to beg plead implore beseech ask you very nicely to stop sending me alarmist advertising e-mails coordinated with Newsmax that are designed to scare the fertilizer out of me while causing me to buy a product whose benefits are … oh, what’s the best phrase? … described opaquely at best.

I mean honestly, comrades, don’t tell me that any of you paid good money for the keys to the following particular information kingdom:

Before any of you say it, I know that the instinctive response on your parts might be to tell me to filter my own damn spam e-mails. But comrades, I don’t want to consign you to spam because I don’t want to alienate myself from the fruits of your labors. Rather, I would prefer it if those fruits were tastier and more wholesome for the consumer. I realize that times are tough and one must do what one can in order to make a shilling, but it is hard to see how the sainted Buckley would approve of any of this.

Please take this open letter in the friendly and fraternal spirit in which it is offered.

Yours in solidarity,

Pejman Yousefzadeh